Wanted: Anything but Winter

Dear Mother Nature,

I've held my tongue long enough.  Seriously, what is up with the weather this winter?  I would formally like to request a reprieve.  Granted we (in Cincinnati) were spared the wrath of your latest storm and I'll take a little ice and wind over what the rest of the Midwest is seeing, anyday, but still, come on!  If I hadn't heard that Punxsutawney Phil was predicting an early spring, and if I wasn't carrying a child, then I'd seriously be popping Prozac like Tic Tacs (the orange variety, anyway).  I need to find out if those sun lamps are safe to use while pregnant ... I'm thinking not, so I'll just stick to ice cream for the time being to help ease the pain. 

Was it the aerosol hairspray I used in the 80s to take my bangs to new heights?  Was it the fact that I didn't force my parents to recycle in our home earlier?   What can I do to make up for my past transgressions to get our weather patterns back to normal?  Furthermore, if we're going to see global warming in full effect, where was all of this precipitation last summer when my lawn was as brown as shoe leather and my new landscaping was in dire straights? 

I realize that I'm one of many that are cursing your name and asking the same questions ... hopefully there is power in numbers.  If not, I'll just start that sun lam research ...

WARMEST regards,
Your friend, Jen