Letter to Anna: Month sixty

Dear Anna,

Well, I blinked and you turned five years old. My life hasn’t been the same since the day we met you and I don’t remember what life was like without your smile, hugs, laughter and love. You’ve always been, and still are, one of the sweetest, kindest, and most caring souls I know. You love hard, wear your heart on your sleeve, and don’t hide your emotions; I wonder where that comes from, ha.

This year you excelled in pre-K, love to learn, and are SO ready to start kindergarten in the fall. Your school routinely performs computerized tests and you pass with flying colors each time and easily marked off all the requirements to attend Kindergarten during the enrolment process. Although you’ll always take an extra “stay home” day, you love learning, love sharing what you learned, and I know you’re going to love school when you start in the fall. You write and color A LOT and most of your drawings include pictures of you, your friends, and your family, and a combination of our names. Mommy and Audrey are definitely your favorites and I cherish anything you make for me.

Your mind is a steel trap and you ask A LOT of questions. I have to be careful with how I answer your questions because you will remember. You have a way of making me laugh even when I’m trying to be the most serious and convey a strict tone; case in point when I told you one evening that “if you don’t stop acting like that, you’re going straight to bed!” ; you replied “no, I’ll act better, I want to go to bed curvy!!” I don’t remember if you straighted up or not, but I do remember I laughed about your response for a long time.

You love to sing, dance and move around. Whoever decided that girls love to sit and read and work on puzzles has never been to our house or met you and your sister. You went through over 10 pairs of pants this past winter crawling around playing versions of your favorite TV shows, namely Lion Guard, and are routinely running, jumping, diving off a couch, or rolling around. You just have to move! You love to dance and we have dance parties often in the evenings. When cheering your Dad on during the half marathon he ran a few weeks ago, you were a total “woo girl” cheering on the crowds, and could hardly sit still watching everyone run past, “I just need to move with them!” you told me. As shy as you can be, surprisingly, you aren’t usually afraid of the spotlight and love to show off your moves and dances.

You’re as sensitive and sweet as you are sassy. Your feelings are hurt somewhat easily and you have one of the biggest hearts around. You always seem to know when I need an extra hug and can sense the same about others. You cry when I cry (sadly, a little more often than usual lately with these pregnancy hormones) and always want to please. We work on not letting your best friend, Audrey, boss you around too much and also want to make sure you stand up for yourself in tough situations and I think you do. I don’t want you to ever lose your sense of wonder or caring nature, but want it to be balanced enough that you aren’t pushed over throughout life.

You’re a girly girl that loves to dress up, all things pink, and still like princesses, but you can hold your own with the boys too and know plenty about super heroes and aren’t afraid to burp and toot with pride. You told your dad a while ago that you wanted to “make bubbles in the bathtub from my toots.” Your Dad has been doing baths for a while with you girls, so I don’t remember if this happened, but am sure it gave us all a good laugh.

You’re getting more independent and are helping around the house often (when asked, mostly), but still love a good snuggle with your Mommy or Daddy. You’ve enjoyed a few weekends alone with Gigi in Lexington and love the special adventure; and I love hearing about the special time and the conversations you two have. I’m so happy that you have a special relationship with all of your grandparents and love that you are comfortable enough to go away with my Mom for a few days of special fun.

You and your sister have a relationship that’s built on so much love I can’t even begin to put it into words. You play well together (most of the time), are excited to see each other, have stories to share at the end of the day and love each other something fierce. Not growing up with a sister, or a sibling so close in age, I wasn’t sure when to expect the sort of relationship you have with each other, but now I can’t imagine either of your as only children or without your sidekicks.

The year ahead is going to be full of change and transition for all of us; you’ll start kindergarten, you’ll have a new baby sister, and as scared as all of this makes me, I look at you and know that you’ll excel at every change that comes your way and prove that I was worried for no good reason. Thank you for showing me the wonder of life through your eyes, for giving me the best perspective around, challenging me like I never though I’d be challenged, and ultimately making me a better person. You’re growing up, but will always be my (first) little girl.

Love,

Mom

Letter to Anna: Month forty-eight

Dear Anna,

I can’t believe you’re four years old! You’ve changed so much in the past year, the past 6 months, the past week … it’s amazing. You’ve grown physically, mentally, and emotionally this past year and it’s hard to imagine when you were small enough to be cradled in my arms. You’re long and lanky, tall as a bean pole, and have the most beautiful features. More importantly though, you glow from the inside out, have a beautiful soul and a heart of gold.

You’re just a delight to be around lately and are truly one of the sweetest girls. You feel big emotions on both ends of the spectrum and I just love watching how you’re learning process and communicate your feelings. I obviously don’t love seeing you sad or upset, but I do love seeing how you’re better able to understand what you’re feeling, how to properly express those feelings, and how to pick yourself up and carry-on. You’re also starting to recognize and process the feelings of those around you and I love the tender moments when you offer a hug to someone feeling blue. You don’t have much in the way of a poker face yet and still wear your heart on your sleeve, and I’m not anxious for either of those qualities to go away.

The only thing bigger than your heart is your imagination and it’s so fun to watch and listen to you play or have a conversation with your sister or friends. You play some typical childhood games with your sister like house or pretending to be an animal, but it’s the intricate detail you bring to your games and stories that amazes me. The names, the specifics, what you’re doing and seeing. You’re at a point where you can, and sometimes prefer, to play independently (break my heart a little, why don’t ya?!). I remember telling my Mom to go away when I played with my dolls because she had a lame imagination, and now the tables are turned. Lame happens, let me tell ya’. You love a good bedtime story, one that involves you as a princess, woodland creatures, and ends with a family trip to Frisch’s; and many nights you get so detailed with your request that I suggest you tell ME a story; to which you roll your eyes and usually respond with a {irritated huff} “no, Mommy, YOU tell the story!”

You have A LOT of questions, but that also means you can have pretty interesting conversations and I’m starting to understand your views and thought process a little better. Your mannerisms are hilarious and I often feel like a teenager is talking to me. You’re prone to putting your hand on your hip and sashaying it in such a way that you look like you’re 4 going on 14, or you’ll get flustered or frustrated and throw your hands in the air, sometimes with a slight eye roll. There are a lot of “whys” and “whens” in our life and you haven’t quite grasped time, so we’re careful to only share big news when you’ll get to share the experience soon. UNLIKE the time your Dad told you about our trip to Florida that included an airplane ride and trip to Disneyworld approximately 6 weeks in advance, which led to daily and very detailed questions.

You’re too sweet for words when it comes to you sister and the feeling is 110% mutual. You are her protector, playmate, comforter, and sometimes antagonist, but you love her fiercely. Since she’s your literal shadow there are some activities, like certain arts & crafts, play-doh, that just don’t happen very often because she’s such a loose cannon. And is a lover of eating play-doh. You generally understand and we try to keep things fair. Like not letting her watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on a revolving reel. She doesn’t get treats at night and gets fewer special Mommy & Daddy dates because she’s a little too young to understand, but on the flip sides, she’s also a little too young to full understand time-outs and the other less fun swaps that don’t always equal fair treatment.

You’ve expanded your palette and are actually a pretty good eater these days. It takes some time for you to concentrate on breakfast, but you usually power through lunch, dinner and MANY, MANY snacks throughout the day. I don’t know what life with teenage boys would be like, but I really can’t imagine it’s much different than your current appetite. Luckily we promote healthy snacks and no treats unless you’ve eaten your fair share and behaved well during the day. You LOVE peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, chicken nuggets, cheese burgers, mac n cheese, all fruit, broccoli, frozen peas (yes, frozen), green beans, and pretend to like salad just so that we share the croutons with you.

You had a wonderful princess birthday party with your friends and family at the park. You loved the attention and the time with your friends, playing, and cupcakes. You’ve come out of your shell a bit, and although your best friend is still Audrey, we’re working on expanding your horizons. We heard how smart and sweet you are (no surprise there!) at your parent-teacher conference this month and were reassured that you’re doing all the right things and progressing right on schedule. You’re not a wallflower, but you’re also not one to be in the middle of conflict. Your teachers like that you know when I stay away from a bad situation and can stand up for yourself; and that makes us proud too!

Four years seems like just yesterday and forever all at the same time. I can’t imagine life without you, your quirks, your hugs and kisses, your questions, and your sweet smile. Thank you for giving me the greatest gift of all, being your Mommy. I love you more and more each day, and though I’m sad that you no longer fit neatly into my arms, I couldn’t  be more proud of the brave, sweet, honest, and loving girl you’ve become.

Love,

Mom

Letter to Anna: Month forty

Dear Anna,

Well, I missed another few months. I’m sorry, but time just has a way of getting away from me and I can’t seem to catch up some days. Also, I’m just tired and usually don’t feel especially thoughtful at the end of the day; I think I sound incoherent enough on my own accord without publishing my random and haphazard thoughts for the world to see.

I have no idea where the term “terrible twos” came from and I’m not sure how or if behavior at that age has changed since it did, but I agree with most mothers in this day and age and lean toward the third year being the most challenging. You’re giving us a run for our money on a regular basis, usually in a good way, and I try to step back and admire your growing independence, aptitude, and physical skills when we have challenging moments; even when all I want to do is run and hide for a few minutes of quiet and cooperation.

You’re Miss Independent to a T. You want to do everything your own way and in your own time. The morning routine is probably the most frustrating because we have a set amount of time to get you girls, up, dressed, fed, and out the door and to our respective workplaces, and you seem to take the phrase the mindset around “stopping to smell the roses” to new levels during this 45-60 minute time span. Every.single.morning. Granted I’m a morning person and I’ve usually been up for 2 hours before waking you, but still. From the “leave me allllloooonnnneeee” to the snail’s pace you use in getting out of bed, to the disagreement over your outfit for the day, it takes FOR-EVER.

You’re very artistic and theatrical lately and routinely put on “shows” for the entire family. You’ll go on and on and then instruct us when to participate, or clap at the end, and are always happy to take your  bow, telling us “thank you, thank you.” You pick up new songs at school on a regular basis, including “Mr Sun”, “the days of the week”, and “Two little ducks.” Your performances range from traditional children’s songs to a full re-enactment from the movie Frozen, to something of your own creation, usually involving one of us, one of the cats, and always lots of hopping, jumping and twirling.

You’re still shy, but are a little quicker to come out of your shell. You did great with the transition to both of your new rooms at school recently (you’re still an Orca, but now in a different Orca room, with a new, but old, teacher), and we were floored when you started running down the hall to your class versus sulking and being pulled against your will. You’ve started telling us more detail about your day at school, but for a few weeks it always involved you crying / whining, such as “I was playing with a doll and Avery came over and tried to take it, so I said ‘wah wah wah.” Upon discussing these scenarios with your teacher, she confirmed that you do still have a whiny tendency, but it was much improved and you were getting better each day. 

You’re continuing to have “smarter” conversations with us where you recall a situation or a day and a series of events; such as “Aiden said don’t chase me, And I said don’t chase me, And then we played tag.” Sometimes we can make sense of it, sometimes we just let it go. You’re still working on the concept of time and defer to yesterday or last year often, telling me the other day that “yesterday I was a baby and said wah wah wah!” You ask most mornings if it’s a “school day” or a “stay at home” day, and although we all wish that every day was a “stay at home day”, we can always find something exciting enough to get you out of bed …. well, in about 15 minutes anyway.

You had a blast on vacation this year and loved the beach and the pool, but not the ocean. We spent most mornings enjoying a walk on the promenade or into town with your Grandparents, then went down to the beach for a bit where you played in the sand, chased seagulls, and generally refused to get any form of wet, much to your Dad’s chagrin. In the afternoon we went to one of the pools and you had an absolute ball. You wore your puddle-jumper life vest and went to town. One day I took you down while Charlotte continued to nap and you entertained yourself for over an hour and wanted nothing to do with me. We checked out a small amusement park on the Rehoboth Beach boardwalk, Funland, two evenings and you were in heaven. You rode rides both by yourself and with your sister and I’m pretty sure you smiled so hard that your cheeks hurt the next day. It took you a few days to realize we were on vacation, a few days in, you asked us “when does vacation start?,” but by the end of the week, as we were packed-up and heading out of town, you sulked that “I want to go down to the beach.” And, we all did! To be fair, you’d probably be happy anywhere there’s a pool and an alligator (elevator), so we’ll have to look at using some free hotel nights pretty soon. 

You’re at an age where you appreciate and recognize special time with me or your Dad and we try to make sure that we take you on dates regularly. Sometimes it’s a big outing like seeing Disney Jr Live with both of us, and other times it’s a trip to the dentist (your first, you did great!), a trip to the store, or out for ice cream. You don’t usually care what you’re doing, you’re just thrilled to be with us. Don’t get me wrong, you love your sister something fierce, but every girl needs some along time with Mommy and Daddy.

You make me proud every single day and I hope I tell you enough. I love to remind you that you’re smart, kind, pretty, and sweet, and all around of my favorite girls and that you’re going (we’re all going to) to have a great day. Just like my Mom did for me. I have plenty of time to remind you of these things during the one million seconds it takes you to get ready in the morning, a time you’re not usually paying total attention, but I figure that if I say it enough, it will sink in. Because you are the smartest, kindest, prettiest, and sweetest (big) girl that I know. And you’re all mine!

Love,

Mom

Letter to Anna: Month thirty-seven

Dear Anna,

You’re in a stage where you’re constantly surprising us and challenging us, usually in a good way, and I feel amazed and blessed each day to be your Mommy.  Not always every second of every day, like when you’re correcting me or arguing with me over the tense of a verb or when I’ve asked you to do something for the fifth time; but in the quiet moments when I’m putting you to bed, in the moment when you see me walk into your room at school and you dart to me with open arms, in the moments when you remember something we talked about a few days before, or when you snuggle up with me on the couch.

 You’re growing so much every day!  I could swear that you grow an inch a day and will be looking down on me by your fourth birthday.  Just the other day you were walking around the kitchen and picked something off the island, your Dad point out that you hadn’t even had to get a stool or stand on your tip toes and we both just stood there and stared in amazement.  You’re also growing into a polite young lady and have mastered the skill of using please and thank you very nicely.  One day recently you asked if you could wear your “princess dress” that day and I had to say “no” as it was a school day; but reconsidered when you responded “can I please wear my princess dress after I get up, and get dressed, and get ready, and brush my teeth, pretty please?”  There was no way I could turn that down, so you were a princess until you left for school that day.

You and your sister have a love affair with each other and it’s amazing to watch your relationship grow each day.  Nothing makes Charlotte smile like seeing you and no one is more fun to play with in her book.  You guys have a game called 1-2-3 that is played in our bed or your bed almost daily.  It’s a pretty simple game; you stand at the head of the bed and free-fall backwards.  But the part you two have perfected is the infectious giggle that comes right after you land safely.  You turn to each other and just die laughing and it’s the cutest sight and sound ever.  Although she’s still working to get a little steadier on her feet, you love to try to dance together and do ring-around-the-rosie.  She follows your lead and literally looks up to you in every way possible.

You moved to a new room at school this past month and the transition went really well.  I was a little worried given the very close relationship you’d developed with Miss Lisa in the Manatee room, but you did great.  Your first transition day you told us how excited you were to be “an Orca today!!,” and proudly went to your new room on the second day.  Your new room is considered a preschool room, but they follow a school schedule, so many of your activities fall in line with their summer camp programs and are little less academically focused.  You’re still learning a new letter each week, are working on handwriting each day, and focusing on other self-help skills, and are finally at an age where you can tell us more detail about what you did during your day. 

We’ve officially been bitten by the princess bug and you are nothing less than totally obsessed with the Disney movie Frozen.  And I mean obsessed.  We don’t watch it that often, but I made the mistake of downloading the soundtrack to my phone and we generally listen to it most the time when we’re at home.  Getting ready in the morning, during breakfast, car ride home from daycare … you get the picture.  They play the soundtrack at school as well and you know most of the words and have dance steps to accompany the re-enactment.  This, coupled with your Sophia the First obsession means that our house is all-princesses-all-the-time.  What I find the most interesting is that you seem to identify with the secondary characters more than the main characters, Princess Amber in Sophia’s world and Princess Elsa in Frozen.  And you have characters that we each play in your mind.  My favorite is that your Gigi is Sophia’s butler, Bailywick. 

A few of your funnier “tricks” over the last couple of months that’s I’ve forgotten to jot down include your two-week obsession with disrobing at random times, including naptime and when we got home from school.  There were a few instances where I’d turn my head for a second or walk in to get you up from nap to find you in your birthday suit.  Quite amusing, but I’m glad you grew out of that as quickly as you came into it, for now anyway.  One of the other things that’s given us a real chuckle lately is how you’ve developed an independence around washing yourself in the bathtub, and will inform your Dad that you are cleaning off your “messy bessies” or “dusty musties.”  Although we have no idea where these sayings came from, it makes us chuckle nonetheless.

Because my memory is shot most days, I keep notes of what I want to include in your letters and sit with a permanent grin on my face as I write to you each month.  I want to balance being in-the-moment with you and your sister with capturing some of these oh-so-fun-but-sometimes-challenging times.  At the end of the day your Dad and I will sit down and recap the best (and sometimes most trying) things about our day, and we always end with happy stories of you and your sister.  Thank you for giving me something happy to begin and end each day with, you’re my true sunshine in this world. 

Love,

Mom

Letter to Anna: Month thirty-six

Dear Anna,

You turned three today and I’m still in shock.  As I walked into your room this morning to start your morning routine, it hit me hard that this time three years ago, I was still very pregnant.  You were born in the evening after a long labor (worth it, but LONG) and needed help with every facet of life right after birth, but today you’re a pre-schooler with very independent ideas about life and how you’re going to live it. 

You’re getting so grown up, figuratively and literally; you’re TALL and tower over most of your classmates and skipped right over 3T summer clothes and went straight into 4T.  You’re also skinny, so although the length is usually spot-on, we’re stuck with leggings and bike shorts, and I’ll be interested to see how your percentiles shake out at your three-year well-check next week.  Speaking of clothing, you’ve developed very specific parameters for what you want to wear, and what you don’t, and you’re not afraid to tell us, namely me as I’m the one that helps you get dressed each day.  What’s different now is that you can tell me why, and although it doesn’t always makes sense to me, you have a plan.  You love anything that makes you feel like a princess and it’s even better if there’s writing about being a princess or a tiara on the shirt.  Except when it’s laundry day and that shirt isn’t clean.  Then there’s a lot of bartering that takes place.

It’s so much fun to have conversations with you and you’re vocabulary and ability to rationalize are growing and changing each day.  Just this past weekend we walked past a dog that had a jacket on; you thought about it for a few minutes, and then proceeded to tell your Dad and I that “dogs don’t need coats, they are dogs, only people need coats, and it’s silly that the dog back there was wearing a coat.”  100% agree, sister.  And, we were all glad we were out of ear shot of that dog and its owner.  You’d told us at dinner before that encounter that you “really like pink cupcakes because they tickle my tummy.”  You’re also in a phase where you are kind of asking permission, but also asking if you “can” do something before you do it, “can I go in the living room and play?”  I love it and know that you’ll be out of it just as soon as I type it out.  You can also reason with that conversation and have learned about red meaning stop and green meaning go when it comes to stoplights.  We have quite the conversation around that each day and I was reprimanded for several minutes when I drove through a yellow light after your birthday party.  Don’t worry, I’ll always remember that “yellow means that you slow down, Mommy!”

Speaking of cupcakes, we’ve been celebrating your birthday since last Saturday when we held your first party with friends.  I reserved a local park shelter and tried to keep it casual and easy, and it was, for the most part, once the 40+ attendees arrived, thunderstorms cleared out, and everyone was running around and playing.  It was the first time you’d seen any of your friends outside of school and everyone was a little shy at first, but it wasn’t long before you were running around and having a ball.  We also had several children from the neighbourhood, some other friends, and all of your family there.  You were so happy that my heart almost burst, it was the perfect party for you.  You’re at an age where you are really interacting with friends when you play and we say that during a playdate you had with your friend Ella a few weeks ago.  I orchestrated several activities including cookie decorating, a picnic lunch, trip to the lake and hopscotch, but you ladies took my lead and ran with it.  Talking to each other, encouraging, hugging, and there was a lot of giggling.

Today is your birthday and I took the day off work so that we could have a special celebration.  We started by heading to dance class at school, went for a haircut (and obligatory cookie afterwards), stopped by the nail salon for your first manicure, ate a special lunch at home, and then went to see Frozen in the movie theater.  I don’t know who was happier, me or you.  We ended the day with dinner at Red Robin, where they sang to you, and then headed home to open presents.  You’re still shy, but are getting braver and love being the center of attention when it involves your birthday or an audience that you know.  You loved being sung to at dinner the night before your party at Schoolhouse Restaurant, at your party, at home afterwards when opening presents, all day on your actual birthday.  And, you really came out of your shell when your Paw Paw gave you a dancing chicken, you’d turn that little guy on and dance your heart out for everyone still at our house, it was hilarious, even if the song he played made you want to pull your hair out after the tenth time. 

I still can’t believe that three years ago I was holding you in my arms, swaddled and comfy, with no idea what my life was going to be like.  In a good way, of course.  You've changed everything about how I live, but you've also given me the biggest reason to live and keep my life in a perspective that I didn't ever know existed.  You’re my daughter, my best friend, one of my greatest loves, and the reason that nothing much else matters in this world if we are happy and healthy as a family.  On a day that’s meant for making you feel special, I hope you know how special I feel each day just to be your Mother.   

Love,

Mom

Letter to Anna: Month thirty-five

Dear Anna,

I can’t believe that you’ll be three years old when I write this letter next month.  Wow!  Some days I feel like you’re two going on twenty and then you curl up in my lap or ask for a hug when you need reassurance and you’re my little girl all over again.  You have a heart of gold and are caring beyond your years at such a young age. 

You’re a girl through and through and back again.  You love to dress up as a princess, love all things pink, anything with glitter is a must, and you love to twirl and dance.  Sophia the First is one of your favorite shows and you can probably re-enact most episodes, and so could we given the number of times they are played.  You love to wear necklaces and refer to them as your “amulet”, just like Sophia, you have a pair of pink mary-janes that you refer to as your “glass slippers” and feel that you’re transformed into a princess with the simple addition of a dress or a skirt to your wardrobe; even in my robe or overcoat you’ll ask “Mommy, are you a princess today?” 

You’re growing and learning new things every day and sometimes it’s hard to pinpoint exactly where you picked something up.  I joked a few months ago that I’d likely still be helping you get dressed and undressed when you went to college, and then almost overnight you’re doing it independently.  Slowly and veeeerrryyyy deliberately, but independently.  One day you insisted you put your own underwear and pants on in the morning, sat down, sorted out the back from the front, and asked me if you were putting your foot in “the right tunnel?”  Shirts are a little harder, but you’re getting there, and are pretty good with shoes, only needing confirmation that “this is the right one, Mommy?” as you put them on.  You also LOVE the rain boots your Grandma got your for your 2^nd birthday, and I must admit they look adorable on you.  We had to put a child-lock on the coat closet door to limit the use of the accompanying umbrella, but that’s pretty cute too.  You’re getting much more opinionated about what you wear and I’m starting to lower my standards when it comes to matching or rotating outfits; as long as it’s clean and relatively fits, and gets you out the door before Noon, we’ll go with it. 

Your Dad does your bath most nights, a tradition that started when I was too pregnant to bend down and has continued as I nursed and now rock Charlotte to sleep. You guys have a ton of fun and I love to hear about all of the crazy happenings.  Most recently you love to use the bar soap to clean-up specific body parts and tell your Dad that you’re “cleaning off your messy Bessies.”  We’re not sure where that came from, but that’s a nickname your Grandpap called your Dad’s Grandma, so we love it and know Grandma Bessie (your middle namesake, Elizabeth) is beaming down with a big smile and lots of pride.  You insist on sleeping with about 12 blankets and 15 stuffed animals in your bed and will sometimes wake up pretty sweaty, telling us that “I’m all sweater-y!  Just all sweater-y!” 

We’ve been trying to make a point to do special “Anna dates,” especially you’re older and can appreciate outings in a different way than Charlotte.  Last month I took a day off work and we went to the Children’s Museum.  It was SO MUCH fun.  It was so great to just let loose with you and I enjoyed watching to you play and interact.  I loved the questions you’d ask, watching you enjoy the stations, seeing your eyes light up when you had put the pieces together at a station, and all of the hugs throughout the day.  You’re such a special little girl!  We enjoyed lunch afterwards, took a stroll through the gift shop, played in the fountains outside the museum, and took selfies before we headed to the car.  It was a perfect day and you were the perfect date. 

As much as you love alone time with us, you also love your sister fiercely.  You tend to her when she’s not feeling well, encourage her when you’re playing, tolerate her hair-pulling, lack of social skills and toy stealing, and genuinely want what’s best for her.  She was sick for several days last month and you wanted nothing more than to comfort her and help her feel better.  You’d pat her head and back, bring her toys, and offer comforting words.  It was true cute overload. 

Overall, you’re just more and more aware of the world around you and are able to understand situations regarding emotions.  We’re working on “listening ears” quite a bit now and I hate to squash your creative juices, but sometimes we can’t spend 20 minutes in the morning playing while we’re getting dressed.  I’ve started to try to make you understand consequences while keeping my cool and will often explain that I’m going to count to three and after that I won’t be as happy anymore.  It seems to work as you’ll usually perform the task at hand (usually brushing your teeth) and will ask “are you still happy Mommy?” as you finish up.  I went away on a girls’ trip for a couple of nights and the day I was returning you asked me over the phone “Did you go see the horsies, Mommy?  And find your friends, Mommy?”  I had been at Keeneland and I did find my friends, you were spot on! 

As grown up as you’re getting, you’re still my little girl.  You still cling to me in new situations, look to me for reassurance, and give me the best hugs.  Ever. With the sweetest little arms.  I hope you’ll always delight in showing me something new you’ve learned, will need my guidance, and will keep on giving those hugs. 

Love,

Mom

Letter to Anna: Month thirty-four

Dear Anna,

Well, it finally happened, I missed a monthly letter.  I knew I couldn’t keep it up forever and I kept trying to make time, but life just got in the way.  And that’s OK, because a life full of hugs and laughter from you is so much more important than sitting at a computer.  That said, my brain cells are dying faster and faster and I love being able to look back and read about what you were doing just a few months ago or last year or during those precious first few months of life.

We are in full blown princess mode around here.  You have several princess skirts that rotate, an amulet necklace (just like Sophia’s), and so.many.tiaras.  If we’d allow it, you’d wear a princess skirt 24/7, but we have to draw the line with school and public outings, so it’s the first thing you run to get when we get home.  Your dress-up clothing is in a bin within reach in your room and you’re now independent enough that you can walk up, dress-up and return before we even knew you were gone.  When we’re going to be home for a while, we let you wear your princess dress, which is basically a full blown ball gown, and although you look adorable, the taffeta is scratchy and it’s hard to find an easy way for you to use the bathroom … but none of that bothers you.  When wearing a princess skirt, you demand we “introduce” you as Princess Anna (“do do do do, it’s Princess Anna”) and when you’re wearing your dress you are “Anna-rella.”  You call your father Prince Daddy, I’m Queen Mommy and Charlotte is still just baby Charlotte.  You love to “go to the ball” and dance and will hold your hand out to Prince Daddy and ask him “may I have this dance,” and then the two of you twirl you around the room.

You love to put on a show and are turning into quite the performer.  You can sing, dance and act, quite the triple threat!  You love to re-enact scenes from your favorite shows (namely Sophia the First) and are generally pretty spot-on.  When a performance is complete, we are given the OK to clap and you look adorable as you stand there and bow or curtsey.  You take a weekly dance class at school and I was able to observe a class last month; I must say you were the cutest student.  The class focuses on a mix of ballet, gymnastics / tumbling, and dance moves and you participate with two of your best friends, Audrey and Avery.  You love to show us what you learned on Wednesday evenings, and although we opted not to participate in the recital this year, I can’t wait to see you perform on a stage one day soon. 

You’re much more aware of the world around you and the emotions of others.  If I start to raise my voice or get into any sort of heated conversation with your Dad, you pick up on and it and ask us to “be happy.”  You also regularly ask “talk to me Mommy” when you’re sad or needing assurance.  You’re able to answer specific questions about school or dance class or an outing and proactively start conversations that we can follow nowadays.  Given your dramatic inclination and the fact that you’re two, we sometimes have to fact check with your teachers or grandparents, but you’re usually not too far off base.  You also repeat everything, and I mean everything.  Sometimes good, sometimes bad, but always cute – you have the sweetest little voice.  You’re current catch phrases include “owie” (when you hurt yourself - which is often – you’re not the most graceful child), “that sounds like a good idea”, “c’mon Mommy (or Daddy), c’mon” and “Oh MY goodness.”

We've started to see some sibling rivalry here and there and were extra cautious during Charlotte’s birthday celebrations a few weeks ago.  Now that you can process and understand more of what is going on around you, we’re careful to make sure you feel included, but also understand what’s really going on.  We started talking about how Charlotte’s birthday was coming up and that yours would be next and were mindful to get you a few gifts to open (one from Charlotte specifically), adorned your chair with balloons and also bought you a special cupcake.  The day of the party you did great and were a “big helper” when it came to opening gifts, and then testing them out.  You’ve already told me that you want a princess party with pink cupcakes, so I’d better get to work.

You are still a very sensitive girl and tend to get your feelings hurt fairly often.  It’s hard for your Dad to understand why something makes you sad or upset sometimes, but he’ll get there; he’s living with three girls now, after all.  Sometimes you just need an extra hug as you leave for school, or an extra kiss goodnight, or for Mommy to linger in your room for just a minute longer.  You give the best hugs (in the whole wide world, as your Gigi tells you, and you repeat) and nothing is sweeter than when you come over unprompted, wrap those little arms around my neck and say “I love you so much, Mommy.”  I read somewhere recently that you should never pull away first when hugging a child because you don’t know how badly they may need that hug and I do just that; I let you linger as long as you need.  There will come a day when you won’t want to hug me in public, or maybe even at all, but I’ll tell you that to this day, the best hugs I get are from my Mom, there’s just nothing in the world like them.  When I’m sick it makes me start to feel better, when I’m nervous or anxious it puts me at ease, and it always makes me smile, just like hugs from you.  You will always be my little princess, twirling around, asking your Daddy for a dance.  And I’ll always be here to give you a hug when life’s not exactly a ball. 

Love,

Mom

Letter to Anna: Month thirty-two

Dear Anna,

What a month for our family, and especially you!  You’ve grown by leaps and bounds and amaze me each day; and, yes, I know I say this every month, but it’s always true. 

This month we embarked on potty training and we’re just one day over being two weeks into the process and you are doing phenomenally!  You haven’t had an accident in 5 days and the last few you had were tiny and you caught yourself immediately and let someone know you needed to use the potty.  We started the day after returning from a few days in Pittsburgh to celebrate Christmas and while I still had a few days off for the holidays.  I’d purchased “supplies” a few months ago and gave it a half-hearted try one Saturday in September, but quickly realized that I needed to be more devoted, which is hard when you only have two full days at home each week and those usually consist of endless errands, cleaning and generally catching up on life.  So, we had what we needed and we went straight into underwear, set a timer and sat on the potty the every 30 minutes.  You had three accidents the first day, two the second day and none the third day.  On the fourth day you went back to school and we weren’t sure how you’d do, so we sent you in a Pull-up, but you only wore undies at home and throughout the next weekend.  You had two small accidents at school that next week, and since then you’ve been a potty master.  You wear a Pull-up at naptime and to bed (it’s dry about 75% of the time when you wake up) and otherwise you’re all underwear all the time.  You went all out and wanted to use the big potty, not the potty chair I’d purchased, and that was fine with me.  You were SO proud of yourself the first time you successfully went on the potty, and I cried tears of joy.  The first few days were exhausting; I was home by myself while your Dad was at work and the world literally stopped every half hour, or when you showed any sign of needing to go, or when you had an accident, but it was SO worth it.  Your potty reward was M&Ms, which were slowly forgotten about after the first week and as using the bathroom became second nature.  I can’t reiterate enough how great you've done, even your teachers at school were pleasantly surprised, and it makes me very proud as a parent to know that I've taught you a skill you will literally use all of your life. 

At the same time we started potty training, we converted your crib into a full size bed, all to go along with the “big girl” theme.  You’d shown no signs of trying to climb out of your crib or needing the transition, but we thought you were ready and it was time.  I was also getting tired of lugging 30lbs of toddler over that crib railing each night and every morning.  Just like all of the other transitions, you did great and probably slept a little better and harder in your new bed.  Your big girl bed is adorned with a flowery pink  quilt, a bedskirt that resembles a tutu and girly sheets with patterns including butterflies or ladybugs.  Honestly, I’m a little jealous.  The bed sits fairly high and you have a double rail.  Assembling that thing about nearly caused your Dad and I to get divorced, but you haven’t fallen out, so it was worth the effort.  The first time you saw your “big girl bed” you spent a good 30 minutes rolling around on it and telling us how much you loved it.  It made my heart happy!  And then seeing how well you did with the transition made me beam with pride.  Charlotte gave it her stamp of approval and I can’t wait for the day that you have your first sister sleepover. 

You had a wonderful Christmas season and it was amazing to see the holiday through the eyes of a child.  We recorded and watched all of the traditional Christmas shows, talked about Santa (or Ho Ho), went on Frosty the Snowman marches and hunts, baked cookies for Santa, opened lots of presents, and generally enjoyed the season.  Minus the two weeks we were all sick, but thankfully everyone was healthy for Christmas and New Year.  We talked about Baby Jesus, read his story, and sang to him on Christmas day.  It’s amazing to see you retain and process information and I loved hearing you ask me about the real reason of Christmas during the holidays.  

You continue to be Miss dramatic and it’s so fun to watch your imagination take over.  You’re constantly thinking of a new game to play and love to involve the entire family.  You’re becoming quite the actress and can act sad, start to cry, or squeal with joy on command.  To the point that there have been times when I’ve thought you were really having a hard time and about to cry, only to realize that you were acting.  You’re two!  Boy, are your Dad and I are in for trouble!  You recently learned how to bow at dance class and will demand applause after any performance and immediately go into your bow saying “thank you, thank you."  Outside of your acting chops, you have a very silly sense of humor.  You pick up on jokes and are constantly making us laugh.  The other day you walked over to me with part of an orange peel on your upper lip and asked me if I liked your mustache.  If we go out to eat and you’re given a lemon wedge (your favorite!), you will turn it into a lemon smile, cracking up the entire table. 

You’re very particular and like things a certain way at a certain time.  You’ll fixate on something, whether it be a TV show, snack food, game, anything and we MUST do it that way.  And if not, I’m pretty sure the astronauts in space hear about it.  You usually have a snack when we all get home from our days and for a while you needed it to be fruit snacks, a few chocolate bunny grahams and graham crackers.  No more, no less.  And a glass of milk, please.  Except you usually didn’t ask that nicely.  It took a few weeks and likely a day where our routine was out of whack, but you got over it and moved onto a new set of demands.  At bedtime you like a certain number of hugs and kisses, have to be positioned “just so” in your bed and with the right mix of stuffed animals.  I can’t imagine where you get it from …

You’re a girl in all definitions and have found your sensitive streak early.  You moved to a new class in November and are doing great, but it’s a class with a lot of boys.  A lot of very loud boys.  And because you are a bit shy and timid, I have a feeling you sometimes get lost in the shuffle.  Your teachers told me a few weeks after you moved in there that they have never had a child as sensitive as you and had to quickly adapt the way they correct or encourage you.  The upside is that you are one of the most loveable children and that means lots of hugs for your teachers, for us, and for almost anyone you feel comfortable with.  Our cleaning lady came over last weekend to pick up a coffee table we were selling.  You’ve met her once in your life, but ran right up to her and gave her a big bear hug, it was priceless and I know that she’ll be telling me about that for years.  Before we leave school each day, we have to do the rounds with your friends and your teachers, everyone getting hugs.  And sometimes kisses.  We’re working on “we only kiss friends on the cheek,” but it’s adorable to see you spreading your love. 

You’re changing so quickly and fiercely that I honestly can hardly remember what you were like last month and I wish there was time for me to write about all of the amazing things you do or say, but that would take days.  You simply amaze and astound me on a daily basis.  Some days it’s because you love so hard, others it’s because of your brain, some days it’s because you figured out how to push every single one of my buttons, but mostly it’s because I see you growing into an amazing young woman.  It’s my job as your Mother to teach you how to find your way in this big and crazy world, but you possess so many attributes at such a young age that can’t be taught.  You love so much, you show compassion, you empathize, and you genuinely care about those around you.  Keep on learning, keep on growing, but not too fast … there’s still a lot I need to teach you, and SO MANY hugs I need to get in. 

Love,

Mom

I was a tad late in getting Anna's letter up last month, and because I date my posts the actual date of the girls' birth (14th and 6th), you may have missed it as it was sandwiched between some other pre-planned posts already scheduled, click here if you'd like to read it.

Letter to Anna: Month thirty-one

Dear Anna,

You make me proud every single day that I’m your Mommy with the polite, sweet, and loving girl you have become.  Watching you learn something new, process cause and effect, expand your vocabulary and learning to care, show empathy, and genuine concern for others is priceless.  You make a long day at work melt away with your smile and I have no cares in the world when you come in for a big bear hug. 

You’re not only expanding your vocabulary, but you also understand what to say and when.  You’re great at saying please and thank you without being prompted (thank you more than please, but we’re working on it) and communicate your thoughts and sentences with the clearest and sweetest little voice.  You continue to mimic phrases and sayings and repeat them back to us with the correct cadence and timing, and it’s simply adorable.  This past month you really got into saying “oooohhhh my goodness” and “ooohhh my goodness gracious” when something struck your fancy.   And just today you repeated “holy moly” back to me and I almost died.  You’ve also captured many a heart this Christmas season with “Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas”, complete with your little arms spread wide apart.  Watching you process a new phrase allows me to literally see the wheels turn in your head; you often will repeat something several times to yourself before saying it back to us and then before we know it, the words are a regular part of your vocabulary.

You're able to communicate very clearly with little transition most of the time and are able to tell us what you want and when you want it, unfortunately we don’t always agree.  As I write your letter, you are sick with strep throat, but it’s not getting much better.  You were able to tell us that your throat hurt and were the model patient at the doctor’s office, even when they did the horrible throat swab.  It’s killing me to see you grab at your throat and cover your mouth when you eat and we’re letting you try anything and everything that sounds good and might ease the pain.  It breaks my heart to see you sick, but what a relief to finally have an idea about what is hurting you versus the guessing game we play with your sister.  I didn’t think it was possible for you to have a sweeter temperament, but it seems you do, even when you feel your worst. 

You're developing quite the active imagination and are a very creative little girl.  Our evenings consist of dance parties, sing alongs, run and chase games, and you often lead your Daddy and me around your world of make believe.  One of your favorite games is going on a “bee or fly hunt” ... once we find the bee or fly, we then spend at least half an hour pretending to touch it and run away with a squeal of delight.  You are great at truly dramatic play and can squeal, show fear, find a sad face, and even cry on demand.  You love to lead a parade around the house, start a choo-choo train on the floor, cook us dinner, and generally play in your own world of imagination.  You moved up to a new room at school a few weeks ago (no transition issues!) and it’s amazing to see how much you pick up from some of the “older” children in regard to dramatic and imaginary play.  Most of your notes tell us how you and your friends were playing with dolls, or singing songs in a group, or creating your own fun game and it makes me very happy to hear and see how much you are learning in the group setting.  You take a dance class at school one day a week and we love to see what you’ve learned every Wednesday evening with our own special performance. 

It’s been a pure delight to see Christmas through your eyes so far this holiday season and you are loving every minute.  You helped to decorate the Christmas tree by handing us ornaments and were enthralled with the other household decorations, especially the small tree we placed in your room.  The DVR has quite a bit of space dedicated to Christmas specials from your favorite shows (Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Sofia the First) as well as classics your Dad and I grew up enjoying, like Rudolf and Frosty.  Your Dad thrives on holiday tradition and it’s been pretty fun to watch him watch you enjoy his traditions; it’s almost like having a third child in the house.  You alternate between calling Santa by his formal name and Ho Ho, but we’re not sure of the rhyme or reason and you are constantly correcting us. It didn’t surprise us in the least when he came to your school last week and your teachers told us that you observed from afar; you circled him, eventually giving him a high-five, but didn't want anything to do with sitting on his lap.

You are definitely my child and love repetition, order, and aren't a fan of change.  You have a fairly detailed bedtime routine even after the teeth brushing, book reading and prayers.  First you give your Dad a hug and a kiss after a back-and-forth  about who will carry you to your crib (it’s always me), then once we are there, we do big hugs, little hugs, big kisses, little kisses and a high-five.  Once you are under your covers, we account for all of your stuffed animals and it’s finally time to get some shut-eye.  I can’t complain because you sleep through the night, take great naps (asking for them fairly often), and even know when you need to take a rest before a “case of the crankies” set in full force.  You are the number one enforcer of doors being closed in the house, know exactly where the kitchen stool goes, and are getting pretty good at cleaning up your toys and books. 

Life seems pretty crazy these days and during the (many) times that I’m flustered or overwhelmed it’s almost like you have a sixth sense that brings a calm to a situation; a gesture as small as a hug and a smile turn my attitude around completely.  Your gift of love can’t be taught or learned.  As crazy as some of the ideas are that come from your two-year old mind, as many messes as I clean up daily, as many different dinners I make in an attempt to satisfy your crazy food preferences, as much laundry as I do on a weekly basis ... I wouldn’t trade any of it.  Because one hug from your with that million dollar smile makes it totally worthwhile.  Thank you for keeping me grounded, forcing me to take time out of my day to play, and for being one of the brightest stars in my life. 

Love, 

Mom