Letter to Anna: Month twenty-one

Dear Anna,

This is the last letter I’ll write you as an only child.  I’ve been asked by several people how long I’ll keep writing you letters on a monthly basis and the answer is that I don’t know exactly.   I love capturing memories with the letters, but also want to be fair to your sister and capture her memories as well.  I can’t commit that they’ll keep coming every month, and maybe in a few years we’ll combine to include both of my little girls milestones and memories, we’ll see. 

You are totally ready to be a grown-up at this early stage in your life and spent the past month mimicking such behaviors.  You love to shut doors and I must say the OCD in me appreciates that you’re there if the door to the pantry or powder room on the first floor happen to be open.  You love to take your own diapers and other miscellaneous items to the trash can all by yourself now and beam with pride after each instance.  Just the other day I walked into the room as your Dad picked up a call from one of your Uncles and you immediately reached for my phone on the table and started a conversation of your own.  You’ve also almost given both your Dad and I several heart attacks as you insist on trying to walk up and down the steps on your own.  If I had a dollar for each time I’ve yelled “turn around go backwards”, you wouldn’t even need a college fund.  You’re also very opinionated and love to use the word “miiiiineeeeeee” as a moniker for anything you need or want RIGHT NOW, generally expecting us to mind-read your exact demand or decipher where that teeny tiny finger is pointing. 

You’re a mini-Mommy lately and are SO ready to be a big sister.  You have two baby dolls and countless stuffed animals swaddled and ready for “night night” at any given moment.  You even started to diaper your charges over the weekend.  I was hoping that their docile nature during diaper changes would be mimicked, but it appears you still like to let it be know that you have better things to do while I wipe your rear.  You will rock your babies to sleep, gently lay them down, cover them up, and then have been known to go so far as to “shhhhhh” me when they are sleeping.  I walked into the room the other day and you were rocking your baby; as I started to talk to you I got a “shhhh, night night” from you.  It was adorable and scary all at the same time.  I can only hope that this true loves transfers over to your little sister.  Last night you were simultaneously rocking a baby and a bear, alternating giving each one kisses and I’m almost certain it was to prove to me that you can have two babies on your lap at a time.

Physically you are maturing as well; you love to jump, jump, jump, run and are generally on the move.  You can stand on one leg and you love to show us how you can walk backwards.  At school you’re a bit of a show-off and we hear that when they are going around in a circle to practice motor skills that you are often “that child” that does it for everyone else.  We’ve had a few nice days lately and your Dad has started working with you more on throwing and catching a soccer ball (pink accents of course) and I have to say that you’re pretty good!  You think it’s hilarious when Dad throws the ball way up high and catches it behind his back and we’ve already had a few talks about how balls don’t get thrown in the house (directed at your Dad, not you).  We saw your doctor this month for what turned out to be a mild eye infection and while we were there you showed off your jumping and gymnastics skills.  I write this only because he said it unprovoked, but he commented that he can’t recall seeing a toddler with your physical skill set ever and warned me that you would likely not only want to try many sports, but would likely be good at most.  I’m about as uncoordinated as they come, so I hope you continue to hone in on these motor skills and prove half of your gene pool wrong. 

You’re getting tall, sneaky, and general precarious when it comes to exploring new areas in the house.  You’re tall enough that you can reach the kitchen table and the edge of our counters with your finger tips, so we’re watching what’s up there (no knives lying around anymore!).  You’ve developed an affinity for washing your hands, but I think the use of the stool is what you enjoy the most.  Funny because the cupcake-shaped stool we bought for your use in the powder room totally freaked you out for about two weeks, but now you can barely be torn away.  You can reach doorknobs and love to shut doors and tell us “bye-bye”; this morning we played that game in your closet for about 5 minutes straight until I coerced you to eat breakfast by telling you the cats were downstairs waiting on you.

Speaking of those cats.  You guys are thick as thieves.  You have finally started to call Milo by his name, but it comes out more like “Miwo.”  You follow him around, are thrilled to see him in the morning, give him pets, kisses and hugs, and love to identify his anatomy, including “paws!”, “tail”, and “whiskeys.”  Daisy has started to get in on the action a bit more as well.  Your love of animals extends well past our pets and into the word of stuffed and those you see on TV.  You are obsessed with the movie Lady and the Tramp and any show that includes animals.  We recently saw an episode of Curious George and also have a few new books from Christmas and you insist on reading about the “money” almost daily.  You have full-on conversations with the cats and your stuffed animals / babies, I SO wish I could get into that head of yours to hear what you’re thinking. 

In short, you’re growing up and becoming more of an independent spirit each day.  Just this week I realized that the hard way.  You've become fairly attached to one of the teachers in your current room at school (just as you have with the other two rooms as well) and haven’t wanted to come for several days when we arrive to pick you up.  Those days are hard to take as your Mom.  Really hard.  Especially when you add in pregnancy hormones, lack of sleep and the fact that Dad was across the country for the week at a work conference most of this week.  I felt like the worst Mother ever when we got home and did my best to make sure you had a fun evening, a good (to you) dinner, and that there were lots of snuggles, hugs, games and love.  I called your Gigi after you went to bed on the first day it happened to me and was pretty upset, but in her infinite wisdom she reminded me that you’re developing that independent spirit that, as a parent, I’m in charge of fostering.  And that’s so true.  It’s not my daycare teacher that I called when I’m upset, it’s my Mom; and I know that if something bad happened to you in that room at daycare, you’d come running to me in an instant.  But, in the meantime, it’s healthy for you to build relationships with others, to explore situations outside of your comfort zone, and to develop into your own person. 

With the impending arrival of your little sister, we’ll all be making room in our hearts and our lives, just with all aspects of life, ours will change and morph into something even better than what we already know.  As much as I’d like to keep you my little girl forever and live in our happy kingdom as a family of three, I also CANNOT wait for you to share your life with your sister, to impart on her the wisdom you’ve learned in your short 21-months, and to bathe her with your love.  I can’t wait to take it all in, the good with the bad, knowing I had a small part in making you who you are and that come better or worse, I’m always going to hold the title and privilege of being your Mom.  I love you so much! 

Love, 

Mom